Prologue
Who was around to catch the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand on film? Similarly, the first, explosive event in the following episode remains unrecorded; but eyewitness accounts tell of Davy sneaking up behind Ailsa and pushing her into the paddling pool. The parties present—hostile, neutral or blatantly opportunist—knew that fragile peace had been dealt a hammer blow. This meant only one thing: war!
Fire and Water
Davy was driven from the rear garden into the street, where the Ailsan Allies tried to provoke him into running the gauntlet of bucket brigades. The swiftly unfolding events are documented below…
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O Treachery! Erstwhile ally Emma turns her great bucket on Ailsa, leaving her betrayed and bedraggled! |
The dripping mad Ailsa pursues Emma from the field. Who nimbly executes her retreat. |
The Alliance reforged, Davy is lured back into the garden, under a false flag of truce. Ambush! |
Davy—outnumbered and outflanked by Stephen, Ailsa and Rick—sees his only hope in seizing control of the hose. |
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Click on a picture for a larger version. |
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| Allies seize the upper hand! Davy is mercilessly hosed by Rick. |
Whilst the other participants agree that honour has been served, and regroup inside, Rick and Davy debate the meaning of the word 'Armistice'. |
The dispute is settled by recourse to arms, in the final skirmish of the conflict, Rick suffering water damage. Davy's sprayers are answered. |
Aftermath. Drenched Davy is left to ponder upon the tendency of violence to escalate, and why you can't find allies (or towels) when you need them. |
The Last Casualties of War
The conflict apparently over, the condition of the casualties was reflected upon, and dampness attended to. At this point, the apparent dryness of your neutral-but-intrepid photojournalist was remarked upon, and a hasty-but-elegant disappearing manoeuvre was effected, to avoid being the last casualty of the war.
Last updated: 8 October 2000